Starter Marriage: If at First You Don't Succeed...
NEW YORK, March 24, 2007 — -- Julia Roberts has done it. So has Jennifer Garner. And first lady wannabe Judy Giuliani has done it too. It's not plastic surgery or a diet fad. It's something that more and more Americans are doing -- starter marriages, which last less than five years and produce no children.
This week, the wife of Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani told reporters his wife has been married three times, not twice as previously reported. Her first marriage was a union that began at a Las Vegas chapel in 1974 and ended five years later, the year she married her second husband. Published reports said the former New York City mayor knew all about it and that there aren't secrets between the two.
The famous faces aren't the only ones with starter marriages.
According to the 2002 book, "The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony," starter marriages are most common among Generation X. Although they are marrying later than their parents, the divorce rate among them is just as high as the generation before. The difference now, according the book's author, Patricia Paul, is that starter marriages are often seen like starter homes: You know that you'll soon outgrow it and need an upgrade.
As part of her research, Paul interviewed 60 American women. They were mostly white, middle class and college educated, and had been married in their 20s for five years or less. The women seemed to have it all -- great careers, homes and friends, and often felt that marriage was the next thing they need to mark off on their "to do" lists.
"Our biological time line, peer pressure, family pressure, often causes us to solidify a relationship that might not need to be solidified," said Rachel Sussman, a marriage and family therapist.
She added that when young people marry because of this societal pressure, it's often not enough to make a relationship work.
So they divorce.
And they are not alone.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, most first marriages that end in divorce end by the eighth year of the union. That may not be surprising, but what may be is that second marriages often don't last much longer.