Aggressive Parents Causing Trouble in Classroom

May 6, 2005 — -- While overbearing parents have been known to lose control on their kids' sports fields, what sometimes happens inside the classroom is even worse.

"I have had a parent come in and threaten me," said Lee Alvoid, a retired principal in suburban Dallas. "And I did have to call the police."

Last month, a Texas high school football coach was shot, allegedly by a player's father in the school's field house. The father was said to be upset about the way his son was treated by teammates.

The school district in Issaquah, Wash., implemented a "civility policy" in 2001 after parent-teacher relations became excessively confrontational. And teachers in Philadelphia take conflict resolution courses and parents are encouraged to express their concerns more constructively.

Educators say problems can start as early as kindergarten, with overzealous parents doing their kids' homework, constantly e-mailing teachers and demanding explanations for grades they don't like.

"We want them to be concerned about their kid," said Kirk Daddow, who has taught advanced placement history in Iowa for 38 years. "But when it goes beyond that, when they're trying to pressure teachers to do certain things -- to change grades, things like that -- they're going way beyond the bounds."

According to the Consortium for Policy Research in Education, 46 percent of new teachers leave the profession within the first five years. New teachers are most likely to say communicating with parents is their biggest challenge, the study found.

But many parents -- like Joe Zillo of Maryland -- say they have every right to lobby for their children.

"We are not screamers," he said. "We are merely parents asking to be heard. It's our children. We are your customers. Listen to us."

Part of the problem, particularly in more affluent areas, is the growing pressure to get into a top-level college -- even if that goal is unrealistic.