June 18, 2013 -- Can you believe The Simpsons have been airing since 1989? And, like, that's not even counting the Simpsons shorts that aired on The Tracey Ullman Show. Homer wore a suit! That's silly!
To celebrate the show's 25th anniversary, Converse has launched a collection of Simpsons-inspired sneakers featuring "The Homer," "The Bart," and "The Family." If you'd like your anniversary celebration to be slightly more soaked in alcohol, you can opt to visit Universal Studio's recreation of Springfield, complete with a fully operational Moe's Tavern. Order a Flaming Moe while watching fellow tourists try to cram donuts the size of their heads into fanny packs. The more fashion-conscious among you can turn to Jeremy Scott's fall 2012 line, which was inspired by America's favorite family and launched approximately a gazillion knock-offs.
And, while you're celebrating with your fancy shoes and your overpriced alcohol and your booty shorts with "AY CARAMBA" emblazoned across your backside, think back on the reality that, chances are, The Simpsons have been around for the vast majority of your life, if not before it. They've raised us! And here are five things they've taught us along the way:
1. Love can make your heart feel like literal garbage.
Remember when Bart fell in love with Laura, the neighbor girl who could out-spit and out-waltz anyone? Remember when Lisa choo-choo-chose Ralph Wiggum because she felt bad for him? Remember when you were dumped via Facebook status change? Love is wonderful, but it also leads to things like being dumped on national TV so that anyone can replay the exact moment your heart is torn in two, or thrown into the garbage.
2. We're all beautiful. Ish.
3. Every dog has his day.
4. Express yourself.
Never censor yourself, say exactly what you mean. Choose your words carefully, sure, but don't be afraid to get a little flowery or poetic if the mood calls for it. Above all, talk most about the things you love most -- it'll make you a happier person.
5. Blood is thicker than water.
And donuts make it even thicker.