Allow Me To #Indulge You: Pope Offers Indulgences To Twitter Followers [SATIRE]

July 18, 2013— -- God loves technology, and to prove it, Pope Francis (aka "Cool Pope") is offering indulgences in exchange for a Twitter follow or a RT.

Pope Francis warned, however, that your intentions must be pure, "We don't just hand out indulgences like they're some imaginary thing we made it up," he stated at a press conference.

The Pope also reminded his tweet peeps that while they cannot follow God directly, he will happily send a DM to God on their behalf.

Lastly, don't forget to send Pope Francis your confessions via Twitter. Just remember to keep your sins under 140 characters.

Elise Roedenbeck is a writer and comedian who frequently smells nice and showers often.