Important Style Lessons From Riff Raff's "Dolce and Gabbana" Video

— -- What even is Riff Raff? Rap game Andy Kaufman? Rap game Forrest Gump? Rap game Not-So-Secret James Franco Muse? The trolliest of IRL trolling trolls? A gold-grilled idiot savant? A true master of the Socratic method?

None of the ~real~ answers to these questions about the now-Las-Vegas-based rapper really matter, anyways. Journalists keep trying to scrape to the bottom of the barrel of Riff Raff mystery, and they come up empty-handed (and smudgy-fingered). Whatever his true biography, he’s managed to totally overcome it even beyond Rick Ross levels of self-revision.

He’s also finally putting out a proper debut album titled Neon Icon (despite releasing approximately 10293810238 mixtapes, free songs, and viral videos). And now, with the video for his supposed first single “Dolce and Gabbana” (though Riff Raff himself has disputed it), we've got the first higher-budge look at what’s on it.

If, as they say, there are levels to this ish, then Riff Raff is climbing them like he’s on a freaking chain-gym stairmaster. “Dolce and Gabbana” is the kind of rap song that uses (and abuses?) the genre entirely for the artist’s own purposes. Is he clowning? Is he dead-ass? The world will never know, so instead, I suggest you enjoy the video for these five fashion lessons:

Dolce and Gabbana is classic (duh).

Shouting it out constantly is a little basic, but whatever. As Riff Raff knows, there’s always room in your style life for some form-fitting Italian sexiness. Dolce and Gabbana loves leopard print, and as we get to know each other better, you will notice that we do too. Then again, we’re based in Miami so our tacky meters are calibrated a little funny.

However! Let’s not discount Riff Raff’s previous favorite brand, Marc Jacobs! There’s also always room for twee librarian Deschanel-y lewks too.

But don’t be like Riff Raff in foreign pronunciation aspects – learn to pronounce the brand!

If your ears burned and died a little when Jay Z pronounced Maison Martin Margiela like “MAY-son” (like “mason jar”), you’ll cringe again. Riff, dude, it’s “dolce,” Italian-style, kinda like dol-CHAY. Not dol-see. Though I do like picturing you in a room with Showgirls-era Elizabeth Berkley discussing the finer style points of the latest Versace (pronounced Ver-SACE) collection.

Eff an old, heternormative genre-based rule about men’s fashion.

Would rappers of yore be man enough to wear nontraditional man things, like sweaters festooned with lip appliques paired with shiny red pants? Of course not. But if women can really "discover menswear" every few seasons, according to the mags, even omgstraight dudes can rock bright colors and fun prints without losing all their societal man points. The key is to own it unapologetically! Just ask Riff Raff.

Easter egg pastels are coming back.

Anyone who paid attention to the recent New York Fashion Week knows. Riff Raff also knows. In fact I’m sure he knew that before the fashion world, because he’s psychic like that.

Find new uses for your old, embarrassing accessories.

Even if they are, uh, unorthodox. (Who even wants to flaunt a Fendi logo bag like it’s 2001?) Wear things the way they aren't "supposed" to be worn – go ‘head, be yourself!