Tightrope: Building confidence can be a step-by-step process
— -- Hi, Gladys: I am desperate to make a living. I have looked every place I can think of to find a job and so far no luck. I know how to do a number of things. I'm a great cook and I make a mean pound cake. I play the piano in church, and I am good at it and could teach others. I am also fluent in both Spanish and French, and I could tutor or teach people the language or even operate as an interpreter. I am not short on skills, and I know what my skills are. My problem is self-confidence. I can't seem to keep my nerve up when it's time to approach people about doing business with me. I think I need a confidence builder. What do you suggest? —Ann
Self-confidence is not a steady state, it comes and goes. There are plenty of times when we feel more confident than at other times. And then there are times that it seems like we never had self-confidence. However, I believe that there are ways to bring our self-confidence out of hiding when needed.
Several years ago I read this definition for self-confidence: The ability to be unaffected by other people's opinion. We are usually sent running into our shells when someone says something that makes us question ourselves. Sometimes just the thought that someone might say something to challenge our abilities can send our confidence sliding downhill.
Self-confidence as well as self-esteem is more often built on a series of small success. As I have said in the past, having large goals are great. However, in order to get to those larger goals, you need s series of smaller steps (goals) in order to reach those larger goals.
Perhaps in your case you can consider starting in a small way. For example, suppose you decide to teach piano. Why not place a notice in your church bulletin? In that environment, the people know you and are familiar with your work. From there you can push a little further out. Most grocery stores have a community bulletin board where customers can post information. Put a notice there and see where it leads you.
