Ask an Expert: Abusive customer? Time to get tough

— -- Q: Our place of business has a customer who is a real pain. Unhappy with something that happened with regard to his account, he has become increasingly belligerent. He calls and yells at me and others. He threatens to take his business elsewhere and so on. How should we handle this guy — placate him, fire him, or what? I should note he makes us a lot of money. — Sue

A: Anyone who has read some of my stuff over the years probably knows that I fall into the go along/get along camp as a general rule, or to use a cliché, I do think you usually catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

But to every general rule, there is an exception (more on that in a minute.)

Accommodating, getting along, and saying yes is not just about being a nice guy or gal; it's often smart business.

Sometimes you do business with people because you have to or because you don't care, that is, a person or business may be offering you the best deal, or they are more convenient or have the best selection, or whatever. That is all well and good, and valid.

But just as often, nay, maybe more often, we do business with someone because we want to work with that person. Whether it is hiring someone you like or contracting with a new vendor, is it not true that personality, often and surprisingly, trumps other issues?

I had a pal in law school. He was not "law student of the year" by any means. He didn't have great grades, that's for sure, but what he did have was a winning personality; people liked being around him. He ended up having his pick of jobs.

As he told me at the time, "When someone interviews you, sure, they want to know that you can do the job, but equally importantly I think, they want to see if they would like spending 10 hours a day working with you." Those were wise words.

So yes, being a good guy usually reaps rewards.

But usually is not always. The general rule is not the only rule.

Another rule is this: Sometimes you have to be a jerk. People have to know that, not only are you a nice person, but that you also have a spine, that you are a businessperson and that you mean business.