Strategies: When bad things happen, get over it

ByABC News
April 9, 2009, 11:21 PM

— -- In life and in business, a lot of bad stuff happens to you. Customers may desert you; competitors may steal your ideas; vendors may cheat you. You'll get stiffed in some business deals. Whether in business or not, we'll all certainly run into our share of defeats and disappointments, disloyalty and deceit.

There's many ways to deal with these awful happenings, but I'd like to share my friend Ann's advice: "Get over it, and stay over it."

Now this advice may sound somewhat flippant, but it's not. Into every life — and every business -the proverbial "stuff" happens. Some of it is very serious. It's not just going to go away, and we can't just walk away. When bad things happen, we have to deal with it. But there's a difference between dealing with something and wallowing in it.

Don't we all know people to whom we'd like to shout Ann's advice? Employees who harp on situations resolved long ago? Kids who keep whining even though you've told them "no" 10 times? Spouses who bring up old spats like a broken record? How about those people who still blame their parents for their problems, though they're in their 30s, 40s or even older?

"Get over it!" I'd like to yell, "And stay over it!"

Yet we, too, may find ourselves stuck on old issues. If we tried making a big change — introducing a new product, opening a new location — and failed, we may be paralyzed, afraid to ever try anything new again. If we entered into an important relationship — a partner, supplier, spouse — and were cheated or mistreated, we may find ourselves mistrusting everyone. It's easy to nurse old wounds.

But old hurts can block new ideas, new chances for success — or happiness. When we're stuck in the past, we can't move forward. To improve our businesses, and our lives, we have to find a way to forge ahead. So no matter what failure or setback we encountered, we have to learn how to get over it. Once we do, we have to teach ourselves how to stay over it.

That's not easy. So how do we follow Ann's two-step program?