-- For the first time, Mary J. Blige is revealing the details of her bitter and emotional divorce.
"My heart is OK, I'm hanging in there," Blige said. "I mean, no one wants to go through this and this is hard. I'm hanging in there."
Blige and Kendu broke it off after 12 years of marriage.
"The breaking point was when I kept asking over and over and over again for respect and to be respected," Blige, 45, said. "And it just seemed like I was beating a dead horse and it seemed like I was talking to a wall. I just wasn't getting it back so if I can't get respect in the relationship, then I have to move on and save myself. That was the point where I was like, 'I'm done. I just can't do it anymore.'"
Kendu is asking for $129,000 a month of spousal support from the superstar singer. They have no children together.
"My message to those women that are going through the same thing that I'm going through or a similar situation is that you cannot rely on people to handle your business," Blige said. "You have to handle your business. You have to take responsibility and stay on top of it because things like this will happen if you don't.
"Surround yourself with good people and, of course, you need people that will help you, but they can't do everything for you," she added. "You have to be in mix of it."
Famous for writing through heartbreak in her music, Blige said being on tour has been cathartic for her.
"It's been so healthy for me because this is where I bring all my pain," she said. "I bring it to the stage ... and my fans are there. They come to the show with all of their issues or trials and tribulations and this is where we're healing.
"I have to stay strong and I have to be the strength for myself," Blige said. "I had to save myself and I'm saving myself now."