Fantasia Barrino: 'I Wanted It to Be Over With'

In VH1 interview, Fantastia Barrino reveals drug overdose was no accident.

August 23, 2010, 9:31 AM

Aug. 23, 2010— -- Fantasia Barrino's recent overdose was no accident.

In an interview airing on VH1's "Behind the Music" Tuesday, the "American Idol" winner, 26, said she wanted to die when she overdosed on aspirin and a sleep aid earlier this month.

"I didn't have any fight in me. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out," Barrino says in the special, which airs at 9 p.m. ET/PT.

People magazine released excerpts of Barrino's interview on today. "At that moment, I wanted out," she said. "I wanted it to be over with, all of it, all of that [expletive].

"I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle," Barrino continues. "I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.

"I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family, my father, dealing with men and their [expletive]. I was tired," she says. "My head was hurting me. I was over it."

The 2004 "American Idol" winner was released from the hospital Aug. 11, two days after her overdose.

"She has been lifted up by the outpouring of love and support from her fans," Barrino's manager, Brian Dickens, said in a statement Aug. 12. "She is more committed than ever to her daughter and her work because they are her heart, her soul and inspiration."

Barrino's candid interview comes as she faces a potential million-dollar lawsuit as a "home-wrecker."

She has been accused by Paula Cook of Charlotte, North Carolina of having an adulterous affair with Antwaun Cook, her husband, and the father of their two young sons, ages 6 and 2. Paula, who has filed for divorce from Antwaun, named Barrino in a complaint filed last week seeking custody of the boys, along with alimony, child support, the family home and a 2000 Lexus.

Paula Cook's attorney, Tamela Wallace, has declined to comment on the custody case or the recent turn of events involving Barrino. According to Barrino's attorney, Gena Morris, the singer has already been named as a witness in the Cooks' custody case.

"For the sake of everybody involved, I hope she is not sued because she did not break up the Cooks' marriage," Morris said in a letter to "However, if Mrs. Cook does make the headline-seeking decision to sue Fantasia ... rest assured we will vigorously defend her."

Barrino has denied that she was a home-wrecker but confirmed that she had an 11-month relationship with Cook.

"When I met him, he was separated ... wasn't living in his home," she says in "Behind the Music." "He didn't want to be back with his wife ? that is what I was told. I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], 'It didn't work, I'm still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.' "

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