Kate Gosselin: 'I Was Very Hard on Jon'

"Jon & Kate Plus 8" mom repents on "Her Story" after Jon seeks help from Rabbi.

ByABC News
October 30, 2009, 3:42 PM

Nov. 3, 2009 — -- Now it's Kate Gosselin's turn to repent.

One day after Jon Gosselin waxed apologetic about his behavior before Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and legions of press, fans and critics, his estranged wife went on TLC to tell "Her Story." The short version: She's sorry for treating Jon poorly and prays that one day, he'll return to his former, family-friendly habits.

"I was very hard on him and I would never deny that," Kate said on the Monday night TLC special. "I felt very much like a lot of weight rested on my shoulders."

"I was wrong to treat him that way," she added. "Was it good, healthy and wonderful? No. Am I proud of those moments that were captured? No."

"I still wake up every day, and I think the phone will ring," Kate said, choking back tears as she continued, "and it'll be the old Jon."

Though she's hurting, she's not wounded enough to step back from the spotlight.

"We can't turn life off ... I can't turn life off ... We're too far gone," Kate said. "Stepping out of the spotlight when it's prudent to do so is a good thing."

While she and Jon still speak, it's never about his girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, or any of his other rumored exploits.

"We do [talk] where it relates to the kids," Kate said. "As far as dating goes, I've never, ever broached the subject with him as far as anything I've ever read, seen or heard."

And as for those rumors about Kate hooking up with her bodyguard, Steve Neild, consider them baseless.

"[The rumor is] so unthinkable to me that to have to think about it makes me sick," she said.