Nov. 11, 2010 — -- In her first interview since her 18-year-old son, Michael Blosil, committed suicide, Marie Osmond opened up about his struggle with depression, drugs, and his sexuality.
"My son was not gay," Osmond told Oprah Winfrey in an interview scheduled to air on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" today. "He wanted to be married and have a family and travel all over the world. And it wouldn't matter if he was. I have a daughter who is gay, and it was my daughter who was offended by it, like, 'What? All gay kids commit suicide?' She really wanted it cleared up."
After Blosil's death early this year, many bloggers speculated that Blosil's struggle with his sexuality may have led him to commit suicide. He jumped to his death from the roof of his Los Angeles apartment building last Feb. 26. But Osmond stressed that Blosil loved women.
"You want the perfect man? That was my son -- chivalrous, loved, honored women. Treated them with respect," she told Winfrey.
In her tearful interview, the singer-actress, 51, recounted her son's death. Osmond revealed that Blosil called her the night he committed suicide, but she didn't answer the phone because she was performing.
"I've been through some tough things in my life, Oprah. This is probably the hardest that I've been through," she said. "I think there are always what-ifs. ... I think if you live in what-ifs, you stop living."
Blosil, a first-year student at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in California, had battled substance abuse and depression for much of his life -- he had his first stint in rehab at age 12. One of five children Osmond adopted with now ex-husband Brian Blosil, Michael Blosil first tried to commit suicide after his parents' divorce in 2007.
Osmond Reveals Son's Suicide Note
"I was going through a very public divorce, going through custody battles. My dad died, and my son went into rehab," Osmond told Winfrey. "He couldn't deal with it. He promised he would never do anything like that again, and I believed him."
Osmond said that in the weeks leading up to his death, Blosil seemed happier than ever.
"When my son went to college, he was so happy," she said. "He was not depressed. He was not a depressed kid on the outside."
But the night before his suicide, something was off.
"I had spoken to him the evening before, and it was concerning to me," Osmond said. "It was the first time I heard him cry and say he felt alone and that he had no friends."
Osmond revealed what Blosil wrote in the suicide note he left at his apartment.
"He said that he knew that morning was the last time he would get up and brush his teeth, eat breakfast, make his bed -- those kind of things," she said. "And that he loved his family, but the pain was so intense."
One day after Blosil's funeral, less than two weeks after his death, Osmond made an emotional return to her Las Vegas show with her brother, Donny Osmond. On "Oprah," Osmond defended her decision to return to work quickly:
"I knew that if I didn't get back on stage, that I may never get back on stage."
Now, she's put out an album dedicated to Blosil, "I Can Do This." All of the proceeds will go to the Children's Miracle Network. Osmond performed an operatic song from the album on "Oprah," dedicating it to Blosil.
"Because of what I believe in, I believe I'll see him again," she said.