Amanda Kloots prepares for 1st Christmas without husband Nick Cordero

"I will celebrate, smile and find the joy as much as I can," she wrote.

ByGood Morning America via logo
November 11, 2020, 6:27 PM

Fitness trainer Amanda Kloots is preparing for her first Christmas without her husband, late Broadway star Nick Cordero.

In an Instagram post Tuesday, Kloots shared a photo of her Christmas tree, and she explained in the caption that because she hopes to visit family in Ohio for the holiday, she wanted to make her Los Angeles home feel festive now.

Still, because she understood that "this might be a hard thing to do" in the wake of her husband's death from COVID-19, she added that she "chose to make it joyful with my brother."

"We bought new decorations today, came home, put on Christmas music and got to it! I decided not to question anything this year," she wrote. "I hung every sentimental ornament and all our stockings. Some of it doesn’t make any sense at all, but it’s OK. For me, right now, it’s OK. I think in an odd way it makes me feel like Nick is still here."

In the wake of Cordero's death in July, Kloots, 38, has detailed how she has coped with grief and tried to move forward. In her most recent Instagram post, she acknowledged that "this holiday season won't be easy," but she added that she will try her best to stay positive.

"I love Hallmark movies, hot cocoa, mistletoe, Christmas carols, Christmas Eve church, standing in line to get my picture with Santa, watching 'Love Actually' 50 times and dancing to 'All I Want For Christmas' till December 25th," she wrote. "I’ll miss him every step of the way. But, I will celebrate, smile and find the joy as much as I can along the way for me and for Elvis."