Carrie Underwood welcomed her second child this past January, but becoming a mother of two wasn't simple.
The singer told People magazine that after having three miscarriages in two years, she had moments where she blamed herself.
Although miscarriages are common and are often caused by chromosomal abnormalities, according to the Mayo Clinic, the experience can be deeply painful and confusing.
“Of course you wonder if it’s you, what am I doing wrong, or what have I done wrong," Underwood told the magazine.
She said she recalled having conversations with her husband, former pro hockey player Mike Fisher, as she struggled "to make sense of it all.”
“I’ve always wanted to be a good daughter to my parents but also to God and not complain, because we are beyond blessed," she said. "I get to do what I love... I have all of these amazing people around me, and I don’t want to complain, ever."
"But the miscarriages made me get real with God and say, ‘Okay, I’m kind of giving up a little bit. If this isn’t meant to happen, then I need to accept that and know that someday I’ll understand why,’” she said.
Underwood, 36, and Fisher, 39, welcomed their son, Jacob, on January 21. Their older son, Isaiah, is now 4.
Calling the five-month-old "this perfect little bundle of a smiley guy," Underwood said that going on tour with her family has been "a big, awesome mess."
“There is a thing about motherhood that makes you feel like, ‘Okay, if I can do that, I can do anything,’” she shared. “And I feel like I’m a little older, a little wiser. This isn’t my first rodeo."