Mom shares 'hot take' on not throwing birthday parties for her kid

Marissa Light says she is only planning to throw three parties for her child.

February 23, 2024, 4:03 PM

Children's birthday parties have become a commonplace event for parents and their kids, but one Pennsylvania mom is explaining why she isn't on board with the annual tradition.

Marissa Light shared her opinion in a now-viral TikTok video, which has garnered over 413,000 views since Feb. 9.

PHOTO: Marissa Light shared why she doesn’t plan on throwing yearly birthday parties for her child on TikTok.
Marissa Light shared why she doesn’t plan on throwing yearly birthday parties for her child on TikTok.
@marissalight/TikTok

The 28-year-old mom told "Good Morning America" she and her husband came to the joint decision that they would only host three celebrations -- a first birthday party, a sweet 16 party and a combo birthday-graduation party for their daughter Daisy in lieu of a yearly party on her birthday with family and friends. She also said that on her daughter's birthday, they still plan on celebrating her with what she calls a "Daisy Day," which would be focused on whatever her daughter wants to do.

"I'm not putting on yearly birthday parties and dragging everyone out when I don't even know if that's something she wants, and so instead, we're going to be doing the 'all about you day' and celebrating her in that way," Light explained.

PHOTO: Marissa Light is a mom to a daughter named Daisy.
Marissa Light is a mom to a daughter named Daisy.
Courtesy of Marissa Light

Light's video has sparked thousands of comments, with some agreeing with her plan and calling it a "smart" or "wonderful idea," and critics calling it "sad" or a "lonely" proposition.

"I'm not depriving her of anything. In fact, I'm giving her everything she could possibly want and just leaving that up to her," Light said in response to those critics.

The mom of one said she also isn't shutting the door on letting her daughter choose whether she would like a birthday party in the future.

PHOTO: Light and her family live in Pennsylvania.
Light and her family live in Pennsylvania.
Courtesy of Marissa Light

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there and talk about all of that. And if she feels like, at that point, she would like to have a birthday party … then we'll put on a birthday party for her instead," Light said.

Light said her stance against annual birthday parties came after being a part of numerous parties both as a child and as an adult.

"I often find myself at the end of all those parties [asking], 'Did I have fun? Did I build memories with the people that I want to build memories with? Or was I just in host mode all the time?' And I know if I'm doing yearly parties, that is going to be my reaction every year," she said.

"I want [my husband and I] to be so fully present in those moments and on those birthdays and a part of those memories," she added.

For other parents, Light hopes to show "there's not just one way to celebrate your child and you can leave it up to them."

"However you want to celebrate your kid is how you should celebrate your kid [at the] end of the day. As long as they feel special, as long as they feel loved, as long as they feel celebrated, then you're doing a good job," she said.

"Just because you don't throw a birthday party doesn't mean that you're a bad parent or you don't love your child or that they're never going to talk to you again or anything like that," she added.

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