— -- It's a dream of many little girls… that "someday her prince will come."
But the whirl of planning "the biggest day of their lives" can drive some brides to the extreme
Marnie Hinze got married 3 months ago inside a quaint Cape Cod church with over a 100 guests, as the sound of bagpipes escorted her down the aisle - it was a picture perfect ceremony."Planning a wedding and getting married is both the best time, and in many ways the most stressful and in many ways worst time as well, Hinze said.
After the wedding Marnie and her new husband Mark flew off for their long-awaited fantasy trip to the Caribbean.
"The honeymoon was fabulous and very relaxing and fun, perfect, just like the wedding, said Marnie.
But once the honeymoon was over, Marnie says she emotionally crashed."I felt bad because it was over and now real life was starting and now I had to think about kids and buying a house and all of the major things that come after getting married and that was kind if scary".
Marnie fell into a post wedding depression, a condition afflicting one in ten new spouses. After spending a year or more focusing on one day, they let down once that day is over, can lead to confusion, frustration and for some clinical depression.
Her husband Mark was perplexed. "I really didn't understand why she felt that way. It bothered me because I thought it was something wrong that I was causing her to be different and sad or depressed", he said.
Marine could not understand. "Everyone's telling you should be having fun, this is the best time of your life before you have kids, enjoy it, live it up and it felt like what's wrong with me that I feel like this".
Certainly Marnie is not alone. Sheryl Paul, a psychologist and bridal counselor and the author of the book "The Conscious Bride" and now "The Conscious Bride's Wedding Planner."
"Some depression after the wedding is normal. It's a natural outcome of spending so much time on one day and also you're in a transition to a new phase of life. So a week or two of feeling down is normal, but if after that you're having trouble getting up, feeling angry with your husband, there's a problem. ", says Paul.