How Can I Be Intimate During/After Her Breast Cancer Treatment?

R.N. Shockney answers the question: 'Intimacy During Cancer Treatment?'

ByLillie Shockney, R.N., Administrative Director, Johns Hopkins Avon Foundation Breast Center
September 25, 2007, 3:38 PM

— -- Question: How can I express love both physically and emotionally to my partner during and after her breast cancer treatments?

Answer: Your partner, or your husband, is really trying to figure out how he can support you and show you that he loves you, with you not realizing it. He's asking his friends. He's maybe even contacting other people that he knows whose spouse also has had breast cancer treatment.

Some things he can do for you, and that you can also let him know that you want him to do, is just to hug you; tell you he loves you; send you an e-mail from work reminding you how important you are to him. It's not necessary to all the time be focusing on having sex. There's different ways that we can show how much we love someone: holding their hands while you take a leisurely walk after dinner, perhaps stroking her hair, letting her know that you didn't marry her for her breast, you didn't marry her for the hair on her head, you didn't decide to chose her and stay with her because of the way she looks.

What's important is the way she makes you feel -- loved. Let her know that. Send her cards, even funny cards. They're going to make her feel good and let her know that you're there for her. This is actually a time that the two of you can come closer together, closer than you ever thought was possible. Let that happen.

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