Documentary Delves Into Confronting and Overcoming Cheating in a Relationship

Relationship therapist Simone Bienne says partners can overcome cheating.

— -- There are many opinions on whether you can, or should, overcome cheating in a relationship.

Real-life couple Ali and Andrew, who were together for seven years, confronted each other and their issues after a two-year separation, and now their story has gone viral as part of an interactive documentary titled, {THE AND}, created by The Skin Deep.

“Why did you cheat on me so many times?” Ali asks in the compelling video.

“I did not, like, do the act of cheating,” Andrew replies. “I never slept with anybody else.”

“Just own up to it though,” Ali continues.

“I think it’s because I was interested in other options,” Andrew says.

After a long pause, Ali begins crying.

“If you could change one thing in our relationship, what would it be and why?” Andrew asks Ali.

“I know there were a lot of trust issues and I blamed you for a lot of things but I wasn’t perfect,” she tells him.

In part two of the interactive documentary, Ali asks Andrew, “Who is at fault for the relationship ending?”

“I think me,” Andrew says, which surprises his former girlfriend.

“Really?” she asks.

“Definitely. 100 percent,” says Andrew.

Relationship therapist and life coach Simone Bienne believes couples can overcome cheating, and in fact they should, even if they don’t stay together, because otherwise the same pattern could repeat itself in subsequent relationships.

“I think they represent a lot of us, actually,” Bienne said on ABC News' “Good Morning America” today. “I think his number one need is to feel important and significant and I think her number one need is to feel loved, and I think there’s a clash there. If you need to feel significant, that’s where we go wrong because you are going to do anything to make your needs come true and meet your needs, and that includes going against your values and cheating.”

Bienne said we can “absolutely” learn from this couple.

“What we can learn from them is they’ve got to look at themselves,” she said. “What did I bring to the table? And every single one of us, we’ve got to ask, if we are not getting what we need, we’ve got to ask why.”

She added that “we must” repair a relationship once someone cheats, but it’s not necessarily the one you’d think.

“It’s not necessarily the relationship we’re in. It is the relationship with ourselves,” Bienne said. “We’ve got to say, ‘What are we doing? What did I bring? What is my story?’”

Bienne has three tips for repairing a relationship:

First, go from “me” to “we.” You should swap expectation to appreciation.

Secondly, be passionate about your relationships.

Thirdly, she said our “relationships are like a Ferrari.”

“Ferraris are like relationships. They’re precious,” she said. “They have the potential to make us feel absolutely outstanding. And also, if we leave a Ferrari in the garage for a year, it won’t start. The older they get, the more we must take care of them. Ferraris have unstoppable power. This is the take-home. Each one of us has unstoppable power. We just need to find it within ourselves. Do that and we’re going to have a beautiful, beautiful life and relationship.”