What Bettman really meant

Early in the lockout, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman sent a letter to the league's season-ticket holders. His message was familiar, because it essentially repeated the same messages -- in many of the same phrases -- he has been delivering for months, in news conferences and other appearances. It was fine as far as it went, with the stipulation that he didn't get into much detail and he was calculatingly predictable and bland. Here's what we believe he could have written if he had dared to be blunt about his true feelings in some areas, didn't waste everyone's time with the league's most ridiculous arguments and also had his finger on the pulse of fandom: (Timeout. Before we get to that, we have to add the disclaimers in the Internet, modern-media age. THIS IS NOT GARY BETTMAN SPEAKING, SO DON'T GO POSTING THIS ON SOME BULLETIN BOARD, SAYING: "Wow, did you see what Bettman said!" This is our perception of what he COULD say.) Dear Season Ticket Holder:

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