This is what you kids need to know about Wayne Gretzky

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In that case, this blogumn is for you. (I'm going with age 10 for the cutoff of being able to remember sporting events seen in person or on TV in acceptable detail.)

No one in the U.S. saw Wayne Gretzky play much hockey from 1988 to 1992 because in that span, his games were on SportsChannel America. In year one of the network's deal with the NHL, just seven million homes had SportsChannel. The NHL had the organization and unified vision of an Odd Lots store in the early '90s. Hockey didn't gain footing in America as it should have, mostly because it was poorly and myopically run.

I was born five years and one day after Wayne Gretzky was born, so we are roughly contemporaries. Gretzky grew up in Ontario, parts of which can be Canada's Ohio, which is where I lived from age 11 to age 22. Ohioans and Ontarians (Ontarioites? Ontariohosers?) are compatible folk: mostly warm, friendly, down-to-earth, well-mannered people on the surface. Ohio and Ontario are filled with mostly suburban, family-oriented, pictures-on-the-first-day-of-school-at-the-bus-stop, athletic, cheerleading, let's-all-wear-the-same-color-shirt-for-this-family-picture kind of places. I bet Ontario and Ohio are near the top of the list for daily participation on Facebook. Call it "Northern Ohio" or "Southern Ontario." There are more than 100 Tim Hortons franchises in Ohio, and the U.S. headquarters are based in Columbus, Ohio. "O-H! I-Eh?!"

The point is Wayne and I had similar suburban upbringings.

Additionally, I once played 18 holes with Wayne, Ray Ferraro and Russ Courtnall (1,599 combined goals) at Sherwood Country Club in Thousand Oaks, California. I was able to get a small glimpse of the man in a four-and-a-half-hour round of golf, which remains an ideal way to get to know someone -- especially when it's followed by another round in the 19th hole.

Here are four quick observations from that day in 2009:

• Wayne was a little bigger than I envisioned. He is listed as 6 feet, but he seemed bigger than that to me. Also, as with most famous people I've met, his head was larger than anticipated.
• He was an excellent putter and employed the claw grip that day. He putted like a tour pro built for fast greens.
• His mood never changed the whole day. It was bright and fun. You could not ask for a better golf companion. I actually played pretty well, and to hear Wayne Gretzky say, "Nice shot," well, that was impactful. He sauces compliments as well as he does pucks.
• Of course, we talked hockey all day. Wayne loves hockey. He told interesting and funny stories and had strong opinions on certain issues. This man was alive and still simmering with passion for the game.

Again, this blogumn is for the younger person who can see Gretzky only on YouTube and, due to age or access, wasn't aware enough to see him in real time. Now, YouTube is still a great gift. You can educate yourself on Gretzky's greatness and possibly project how he would look today in a game that is so different than it was in the era when Gretzky put up his Ruthian numbers.

The greatest Gretzky stat of all: If Wayne Gretzky had never scored a goal, his 1,963 assists would be enough for him to still be the all-time points leader by 76 points over Mark Messier. Gretzky has a nearly 1,000-point lead in the all-time scoring race. Unless the game is changed, via net size or number of players on the ice, this record will never be touched. Only if stem cell or other major health or wellness advancements allow players to play until they are in their mid-50s could Gretzky's numbers be approached (which I believe could happen).

Here is the general gist of this construction: What would Wayne's numbers look like today? I receive that query on Twitter (created in March 2006, seven years after Wayne retired) periodically. There are 1,963 factors that make this exercise a bit futile. I think if I planked for the next hour, I would do myself more good than I would in grinding toward a "What would Wayne's numbers look like today?" hypothesis. That's because the formula, like any "analytic," could be wrong or misleading.

So let's do what I do best: Sauce a bunch of varied stuff on the wall and see what doesn't slide off like a " fenderberg" on the undercarriage of your car after this weekend's Jonas brutha of a storm.

I like analytics. I enjoy information. I generally want to know why things are the way they are. But above all, I want to laugh, and be with friends and be silly and be part of a group cause and have friends and laugh and cry and love. That was Wayne Gretzky. He has lived his sport and lived his life. His mind could always see things others couldn't, and he generally has made the right decisions by thinking things through on the ice more quickly than anyone else. That was true in most off-the-ice parts of his life too.

Wayne Gretzky got it all through fire and focus: the records, the trophies, the championships, the love, the laughs, the family, the friends, the fulfillment and, yeah, the girl.

#WheelinWayne