Funnies: A Pooh Press Conference

May 20, 2007 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

Jay Leno: And happy TGIF. You know what TGIF stands for? Anybody know? "The green card is five grand." That's what it stands for.

David Letterman: Ladies and gentlemen, here's news from Washington, DC. We now have a new war czar, a new war czar. Yes, he was appointed by President Bush, so what could go wrong?

Jon Stewart: Other front runners tried to turn a blue background into a red bona fide.

[shows video of Republican debate]

Rudy Giuliani: According to George Will, ran the most conservative government in the last 50 years in New York City.

Jon Stewart: Wow, he ran the most conservative government in 50 years in New York City. Congratulations on being the thinnest guy at fat camp.

Jay Leno: And John McCain said that he is willing to be the last man standing when it comes to supporting the war in Iraq. I think he already is, pretty much. I don't think there's any argument there.

Bill Maher: NBC is bringing back "The Bionic Woman." Which is about a woman who is half human, half robot and everybody loves her. And the people over at the Hillary Clinton campaign, this is a good omen for them.

Conan O'Brien: Today at the White House, President Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair held their last joint press conference. Yeah. In other words, it was the last time they played Christopher Robin and Pooh."