Help! My Friend Wants to Come on My Honeymoon
How to put off over eager holiday companions and not stay with relatives.
Aug 19, 2010— -- This week: Help! My friend's trying to crash my honeymoon! Also, what to do when you'd rather stay in a hotel than with family.
Q: My friend (I'll call her Lucy) is trying to invite herself along on my honeymoon! I told her my fiancé and I are considering a particular cruise, and she said, "That sounds fabulous! I think I'll book it too." I said it's our honeymoon, and we'd kind of like some privacy, but she said she'd give us plenty of space - she just thinks it looks like fun.
I tried to make her understand, but she just said, "Fine, well then maybe I'll just book a cabin and not tell you. Then surprise, there I'll be, sitting at your table in the dining room. We'll have so much fun together!" She's been acting strange lately, and I honestly don't think she's kidding. Neither does my fiancé. But we can't exactly stop Lucy from booking, can we? There are plenty of open cabins on the ship. Help!
A: Wow. I don't blame you for being upset—Lucy sounds like she has big problems. Who the heck thinks it'd be fun to crash someone's honeymoon? And the whole "Fine, I'll surprise you" business is downright creepy.
No, you can't stop her from booking the same cruise you want to take. And something tells me that further attempts to reason with her aren't going to do much good.
I think your best option is to make sure Lucy doesn't know where you're going. It sounds like you haven't booked anything yet… when you do, don't tell anybody about your plans. (Notice I said "anybody." You can't only keep it a secret from her.
I know that's extreme, but I'm honestly getting a bit of a stalker vibe from this, so I think you should be extra careful—stalker types tend to be resourceful, unfortunately. You do not want this to turn into Single White Female on a boat.) When people ask, just tell them you'll send them a postcard. Or do what a friend of mine did - turn over all of the honeymoon planning to your fiancé, so you don't know your destination until you arrive at the airport. Then you can honestly tell Lucy, "We thought it'd be fun if he surprised me - I haven't the foggiest idea where we're going, just that it'll be hot and I'll need a bathing suit." Good luck!
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