Sites Use Psychology to Match Singles

March 26 -- Tim Ziegler, a divorced father of two from Denver, tried various online dating sites to meet women but found them to be “electronic meat markets” — not exactly his style.

So he decided to join eHarmony, a site that uses psychological tests to measure compatibility of potential mates. "It just had a completely different feel," he said.

Margaret O'Keefe, 41, was living in Boston when she and Ziegler, 45, were matched via eHarmony's system. "With Margaret, there was an immediate connection that was both an attraction as well as a deeper commitment," he said. "We had very similar interests, very similar intellectual desires, and yet there's enough differences."

They first spoke in July. Over Labor Day weekend, O'Keefe flew to Denver to meet Ziegler. "There was just an instant click," she recalled. "I felt like I knew him because we'd already been dating and basically knew we were in love with each other before we physically met in the airport."

They became engaged in October, and O'Keefe added Ziegler to her moniker on New Year's Eve.

Welcome to the next generation of Internet dating, where it's not enough to share a hobby or both enjoy fine dining. These days, singles are taking psychological tests before making contact with the hope that the insights will increase the likelihood of finding long-lasting love.

How It Works

Advocates say the in-depth profiles — some tests can take nearly an hour to complete — first get people in touch with their own traits and needs, then they suggest what they should seek in a partner.

"Most important, make sure you both are emotionally healthy along with characterologically healthy," advised Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist and relationships expert who founded Pasadena, Calif.-based eHarmony in 2000. "The second principle is to find somebody to love who's a lot like you. Similarities are so crucial."