The California college student who police said is the Santa Barbara gunman described himself as the "ultimate gentleman," but was baffled - and angry - why the "many beautiful girls here... are so repulsed by me."
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Elliot Rodger, who was also identified by his family's lawyer as the man who killed six and wounded 13 in a furious rampage Friday, said in a blog that his loneliness was the "darkest hell."
Rodger, 22, clearly identifies himself on several YouTube videos and a blog as well as a 137-page manifesto lamenting his lonely life.
"I’ve been alone for a very long time. I’ve been attending college in Santa Barbara for 2 and half years now. And in those 2.5 years I’ve experienced nothing but loneliness and misery," he said in a YouTube video.
"It doesn’t make sense. I do everything I can to appear attractive to you," Rodger said in a message to women in general. "I dress nice. I’m sophisticated. I’m magnificent. I have a nice car... I’m the ultimate gentleman. And yet, you girls you never give me a chance. I don’t know why."
Alan Schifman, the lawyer for the Rodger family, said he was being treated by several therapists and recently his parents and a social worker had become so alarmed by his behavior and his videos that they had reported him to police.
His loneliness was agony for the young student.
"I see so many beautiful, blonde haired girls. So many beautiful blonde-haired girls walking around everywhere. In your revealing shorts. Your cascading blonde hair. Your pretty faces. And I want one for a girlfriend... I’m 22 years old and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’m still a virgin. I’ve never had the pleasure of having sex with a girl. Sleeping with a girl. Kissing a girl. I’ve never even held a girl’s hand," he said in a video.
Rodger's most ominous video made shortly before Friday's shooting spree was titled "Elliot Rodger's Retribution."
"Girls gave their affection and sex and love to other men but never to me," he says. He added that it was to be his last video.
While Rodger struggled with loneliness, his father Peter Rodger moved among the glamor of Hollywood. Peter Rodger was an assistant director on one of the "Hunger Games" movies.
His son recounts his efforts to fit in.
"I put a lot of effort into dressing nice. These sunglasses here, were $300. Giorgio Armani," he said in a video.
He recalled how "unfair" it was during a recent shopping trip to Trader Joe's when a "disgusting loser" entered the store "with these two beautiful blonde girls at his side."
"I was of course all alone as I always am," he said.
Rodger also wrote a blog post in April titled "Lonely in Santa Barbara."
"Being lonely in a beautiful place like Santa Barbara is truly a horrible experience," it read. "As I've said many times, a beautiful environment can be the darkest hell if you have to experience it all alone, especially while having to watch other men walking around with their girlfriends. I wish girls were attracted to me. I don't know why they aren't."
Police haven't confirmed whether the person who posted the videos or the man in them is the suspect in the Santa Barbara shooting. Schifman said the family contacted police about the videos, which led to an investigation.
Schifman said Rodger was diagnosed as being a high-functioning patient with Asperger syndrome and had faced bullying through much of his life as he had trouble making friends.
Police haven't released the identities of the victims. Seven others were injured in the shootings.