-- Eighty-year-old defendant Dolores Sheinis had a courtroom doubled over with laughter, and her sassy remarks had a bond judge so amused he told her she "brightened" his day.
"That's what the last guy said," Sheinis shot back. "And then he sued me."
She called the judge "sweetheart" and asked if he'd take her out for breakfast.
Sheinis' courtroom comedy act began after the judge, John Hurley, released her on her own recognizance but said she would be required to wear a GPS ankle monitor to ensure she would stay away from her ex-husband. She is scheduled for a March 5 competency hearing.
"Ma'am, you're getting a second chance on this case," Hurley said. "I don't particularly feel like keeping an 80-year-old woman in a jail who has no criminal record."
After claiming she never bothered her ex-husband, Sheinis finally said, "I swear to God and all that's holy on a stack of bibles: I will never go near him, talk to him, call him or even look at him."
When Hurley asked if she'd ever thought of doing a stand-up routine, she replied, "If you pay me good money, sweetheart, I'll be there. I'm really short of funds."
Hurley, who seemed to take the 80-year-old's retorts well, told her she seemed to "have a great wit" about her.
"I do, sir," Sheinis replied. "Sweetheart, that's the only thing I have."
When Hurley said he hadn't been called "sweetheart" recently, the sassy woman asked, "Does that mean you're taking me for breakfast?"
The judge, who could be seen laughing, then asked her how she thought he was doing as a judge today.
"Not bad, but you could do better," Sheinis said.
"Can we get a drum roll with this?" the judge asked.
Though the inmates in the courtroom and the judge can be seen hunching forward in laughter in a video of the hearing, Sheinis' lawyer told her not to be disrespectful.
"I got you for Pro Bono," Sheinis told her attorney. "I'll give you a buck when we leave."
Sheneis, her lead attorney and her ex-husband did not immediately respond to ABC News' requests for additional comment.
Court officials said they did not have records on file indicating whether or not Sheinis had entered a plea to the current charges, or on the duration of the judge’s order Wednesday that she wear an ankle monitor. It was unclear why the protection order against Sheinis was made in the first place, and court officials did not have the information available.