Book Excerpt: 'Closing the Deal'
Feb. 11, 2005 — -- Authors Richard Kirshenbaum and Daniel Rosenberg -- two happily married husbands and regular guys reveal the secrets to getting a man down on bended knee -- his most uncomfortable position. Below is an excerpt from Chapter One.
Chapter One
Is He Not The One?
Is he the one? this is the seminal question that always makes the act of dating both frustrating and fascinating. While this guessing game will always keep things interesting and mysterious, it may be more reasonable to tackle the other question first, the one that is far easier to answer: "Is he not The One?" While some of you would argue that you "know right away" whether someone isn't for you, sometimes it's not all that clear.
For those of you who want to get married, there actually is something worse than singledom: spending your life with someone who doesn't make you happy. Before we get started with your journey of self-discovery, let us emphasize that marriage isn't about entrapment. It's about taking something great and making it better. And as in fairy tales, the important part is as much about finding the right prince as it is about living happily ever after. Just because you think you have a prince now, doesn't mean he's your Prince Charming.
We 're going to help you figure out where you stand with your man and help you make an informed decision by presenting the tools that will help you correctly analyze the level of person whom you are with. Level doesn't refer to social standing or self-worth, it refers to your compatibility as a couple and his willingness to commit. Besides compatibility issues, we 're going to discuss reality issues, as well. Realities in relationships are sometimes difficult to see (especially when you don't want to face them), so we're going to spend a little time figuring out if you are being honest with yourself about your relationship.
Let's face it though, there are endless reasons why your relationship could falter before your saunter to the altar. We want to say up front that no matter how great the advice is in this book, and no matter how closely you follow it, there are some guys who will never pull the trigger. These men have Commitia, a type of VD (vow disavowal) that makes the most eloquent of men flub their lines at the mere mention of the M word. These are the perennial bachelors, serial daters, and commitment-phobes who exist in every socioeconomic group, and their modus operandi is fairly consistent. They certainly will never be The One. These are the relationships that need to be cut short immediately or, better yet, ended before they've begun, or else time 's a-wastin'.
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