Latinos Are Taking Over! Quick Hide! [SATIRE]

If you call me spicy, I will punch you.

The Latin invasion is here! And like the conquistadors before us, we look good in tight pants.

So everyone knows, it's all thanks to Univision, which became the top-rated network for the month of July among adults under the age of 50. This historic first goes to show just how powerful Latinos in America have become.

So, now that we're growing in numbers and will inevitably takeover, I offer a few simple tips for both mi gente and mis amigos Americanos for surviving and thriving in the new American reality.

Elise Roedenbeck is a writer and comedian who frequently smells nice and dislikes Francisco Pizarro.

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