Working Wounded: Liars at Work

Dec. 15, 2006 — -- DEAR WOUNDED: I've never caught my co-worker in a lie. But my gut says that he is seriously truth-challenged. Is there anything that I can do to ensure that he's telling me the truth?

ANSWER: Your e-mail reminded me of a recent lawsuit against Kraft Food's Guacamole dip. It turns out that the dip contains less than 2 percent avocados. Less than 2 percent! According to the label, the other 98 percent is made up of fillers and other stuff like modified food starch, coconut and soybean oils, corn syrup and food coloring. The woman filing the lawsuit said the dip just didn't taste "avocadoey."

As you try to sort out the exact percentage of truth in what your coworker tells you, you'll have to sort through a lot of fillers and other stuff too. Below I've listed a series of strategies to try to extract the truth from your co-worker. Many of these strategies are borrowed from the U.S. Army's book on interrogations. For more, check out Hartley and Karinch's book, "How to Spot a Liar" (Career Press, 2005).

Do you ask direct questions? It's easy to overlook, but often you can catch someone telling a lie by just asking a series of questions. Don't shine bright lights in the person's eyes and pretend it's a TV detective show -- just keep asking questions to give the person the opportunity to tell you the truth or admit that he or she has been less than candid in the past.

Do you offer incentives? Anyone who is a regular reader of this column knows that I really believe in the power of incentives. And, unfortunately, the incentives today at many companies encourage white lies, fibs and flat-out lying. That's why it's important to correct this mistake and find reasons that will reward your co-worker for telling you the truth.

Do you sometimes reduce the fear? In my experience, a certain amount of lying at work happens because the liar wants to protect the "lie-ee" from being hurt by the truth. Again, if you communicate to people that you can handle the truth by not freaking out when you are told something difficult, people just might start making a stronger commitment to reality when speaking to you.

Do you use repetition? Hartley and Karinch say that in the West we struggle with repetition. But they say that by just repeating a question a couple of times you can sometimes get the other person to acknowledge being less than truthful.

Do you use silence? More than trying to handle the truth, many of us have an even tougher time with silence. We just want to fill it up any silences with words. You can use this to your advantage by just giving the other people enough quiet to see if they'll choose to hang themselves.

Use these techniques, and you'll get a much higher percentage of truth from you co-worker without having to file a lawsuit.

Here are the results from a recent workingwounded.com/ABCNEWS.com online ballot:

Working Wounded/ABCNEWS.com online ballot question: What do you think is the reason you didn't get the last job you applied for?

• Because the position was already filled, 15.1 percent
• Because they found someone more qualified, 48.4 percent
• Because they wouldn't know a qualified candidate if it bit them on the butt, 25.4 percent
• Because I got screwed, 11.1 percent

Our winning strategy for dealing with a disaster at work comes from J.R. in San Francisco, Calif.:

"This may sound trite, but the best way to not have disasters at work ruin your life is to have a life. Most of us don't have one anymore. Get hobbies, volunteer or spend time with your family. Anything to put work into perspective. Disasters at work won't seem so bad if you don't live your life through your work."

Where the Mall People Come From? Holiday Shopping Habits of Workers

• 79 percent of workers are not planning to take a personal or sick day to do holiday shopping
• 67 percent of workers say they will not spend any of their time at the office shopping online

From: CareerBuilder.com

Bob Rosner is a best selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. He'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than he does. His books include: "The Boss's Survival Guide" and "Gray Matters: The Workplace Survival Guide." Send your questions or comments to him via: bob@workingwounded.com.