Valentine's Day Tip: Don't Go Overboard!

ByABC News
February 9, 2005, 8:42 PM

Feb. 14, 2005 — -- What's worse than getting nothing for Valentine's Day? Try getting two dozen long-stemmed red roses from the guy you went out with just once -- and that was under extreme duress from your matchmaking Aunt Ethel.

Valentine's Day is all about love and romance. But if one person is doing too much too soon in a relationship, the other person may just run screaming for a restraining order.

"I think simple is better," says Robin Gorman Newman, founder of LoveCoach.com. "If it's someone that you might be interested in, keep it low-key. If you're not sure where you're coming from, less is always more."

A lot of people feel that they have to make a big deal out of Valentine's Day, even if they aren't in a serious relationship.

"Guys feel pressure to step up and do the perfect thing -- flowers, jewelry and all of that," says dating coach Steven Sacks of matemap.com.

Guys aren't the only ones who feel the pressure.

"Women tend to make more of a big deal [about Valentine's Day] than men do," says psychologist Larina Kase, president of Performance and Success Coaching LLC. "Part of it is that women tend to compare themselves to their friends."

If all their friends are married or dating someone seriously, they may try to rush into a relationship, she says. In doing so, they may overlook that they're dating someone who is totally wrong for them.

Or, if they push things along too fast, they'll end up appearing desperate -- and frightening.

"If it's too much of a response, if they go way overboard, it can scare the other person off," says consum-mate.com's Toni Coleman, a relationship coach and psychotherapist in McLean, Va.

Does that mean that if you're dating someone new, you should avoid Valentine's Day like the plague?

No, says Newman -- but you should keep it low key.

"If you are taking someone out on Valentine's Day and especially if it's a first date, you don't want to go overboard," she says. "No candlelight, no big bouquet of flowers."