The Tao of Borat

Borat Sagdiyev isn't the first sexist, racist anti-Semitic media sensation in America. Archie Bunker revolutionized American TV with his bigoted rants back in the 1970s -- and even he probably wasn't the first.

Borat is the creation of British comic Sacha Baron Cohen. And the character -- like Archie Bunker -- makes fun of hateful stereotyping, by taking it to an outrageous extreme.

But if you're not familiar with Borat, who describes himself as "the second most successful" TV news reporter in all of Kazakhstan, it's hard to appreciate just how offensive he can be -- or why Kazakhstan officials got so mad that at one point, they were threatening to sue him.

Here, then, is a smattering of Borat's philosophy, with quotes culled form HBO's "Da Ali G Show," where the character first became a sensation, recent interviews, and Cohen's film, "Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan."

The film will not be shown in Kazakhstan, and the quotes below are guaranteed to offend. So, before you consider reading any more, you should be warned.

Borat's Philosophy

On American culture:
"We want to be like you. America have most beautiful womens in world ... for example Liza Minnelli and Elizabeth Taylor. It also center for democracy and porno. I like! I so excite to do my movie!"

On his country's stand on U.S. foreign policy:
"We support your war of terror!"

On feminism:
"In U.S. and A. they treat horses like we in Kazakhstan treat our women. They feed them two times a day. They have them sleep on straw in a small box. And for entertainment, they make them jump over fences while being whipped."

On feminism:
"Yakshemash! In US of A, democracy is very different from Kazakhstan. In America, woman *can* vote, but horse -- *cannot*!"

On Marriage:
"Yakshemash! In US of A, if you want to marry a girl, you cannot just go to her father and swap her for 15 gallons of pesticide. Here you have to do something called dating. I find out more."

On the culinary arts:
"American wine is like Kazahkstani wine, but not made from fermented horse urine."

On his hobbies:
"In Kazakhstan, the favorite hobbies are disco dancing, archery, rape, and table tennis."

On his family:
"She is my sister. She is number four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan."

On sports:
"America national sport is called baseballs. It very similar to our sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field, and then have a party."

On his career:
"My profession television reporter. I second most successful in all Kazakhstan. I also have work in past as gypsy catcher, ice make, and in computer maintenance ... I would paint the outsides and remove dead birds from their pipes."

On the making of the film:
"This documentary was most expensive film ever made for Kazakhstan. It cost 48 million tenge ... this equivalent to 5000 US dollar. Ministry of Information supplement budget by selling uranium to some brown men."

On his cross-country trek:
"Along my travelings, I learn many new things about America. For example that it no longer legal to shoot at Red Indians. Once again I apologize with all my heart to the staff of the Potawotomi Casino in Kansas."

On driving:
"We too have cars in Kazakhstan. They now very modern ... some of them reach top speeds of up to 120 miles per week! Also, they better than western cars, because when engine get old you can eat it. I was interest to see if America cars were as fancypants."

On his movie's R rating:
"I hope you Americans see my movie, but please be warn that since it contain foul cursings, needless violence and a close-up of a man's bishkek, it have been given most strict certificate in Kazakhstan, meaning no one under age of 3 will be able to see it."

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