It's a position in which no woman ever wants to find herself. Nipple slips and panty lines are one thing; Spears' latest on-tour wardrobe malfunctions, both involving the region just south of the border that got her in trouble with the paparazzi three years ago, are far and away more embarrassing.
But maybe she begs to differ. At a March show in Tampa, Fl., Spears' leotard ripped, exposing her bare crotch to the audience. Spears waited until after wrapping her performance of "I'm a Slave 4 U" to unabashedly acknowledge the gaffe. While being lowered beneath the stage to change costumes, perhaps not realizing her mic was still on, Spears announced, "My p**** was hanging out," causing the arena to erupt in laughter.
At an Anaheim, Calif. show in April, Spears let something else hang loose: tell-tale evidence of a tampon. The 27-year-old mother of two might want to consider more substantial stage wear to solve these situations.
When the cat's away, the mice will play. Or in Spears' case, when her dad Jamie, also her conservator, was away on business in Los Angeles in late March, Spears reportedly had a little fun with one of her backup dancers, a hunky 21-year-old named Gio.
After a few rumored backstage interludes, Spears bought the hoofer "a pair of shoes and some clothes, even though she's on an allowance," a tour insider told the New York Daily News.
But when dad, who's had his daughter on a tight rein since being put in charge of her affairs, returned to the tour, the brief affair cooled.
That could be a good thing. The last backup dancer Spears fell for, Kevin Federline, ended up becoming her husband and the father of her two boys. And we know how that ended up.
But nothing compares to Spears' performance at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards, in which the already scandal-scarred pop star dug herself another six feet under.
Kicking off the show with her latest song, "Gimmie More," Spears appeared to be acting out the classic nightmare of arriving at a party and realizing you're naked while people point and laugh. She seemed to sleepwalk through her routine, flailing her arms and failing to synch her lips with the sub-par dance ditty blasting through the speakers.
Spears' sequined bra/panty costume confirmed that like her former pop-star magnetism, her abs of yore, which she famously adorned with a live snake at the 2001 VMAs, were nothing but a memory. Critics panned Spears for losing the figure that made her a star and trying to shake it in a far too skimpy outfit.
In 2008, Spears attempted to override the previous year's fiasco by once again opening MTV's VMAs. But instead of singing, the network had her perform a skit with actor Jonah Hill and read an introduction off a teleprompter. It seemed like a cop out at the time, but looking at Spears' on-stage mishaps since then, maybe it was the right move after all.
Additional reporting by ABC News' Luchina Fisher.