5. Become a New York man about town. Gosselin has that new apartment on Manhattan's tony Upper West Side. He ought to use it. Host a cocktail party for New York's movers and shakers, and when they fail to show call up "The Real Housewives of New York." Gosselin's already hung out with cast member Jill Zarin in the Hamptons, so maybe the ladies will reel him into their drama.
6. Publish a picture book about divorce. Not for children but for men who have the maturity level of 17-year-olds and can appreciate stick-figure renderings of new girlfriends with melon-sized (augmented) breasts.
7. Angle to be an "American Idol" guest judge. Sure, Ellen DeGeneres officially took over Paula Abdul's vacated seat, but maybe Gosselin could sub for Simon Cowell if the uber-critical evaluator is ever feeling under the weather. Remember when Gosselin told "Good Morning America" that he despised Kate? That's the kind of vitriol Cowell could get behind.
8. Do a do-over overseas. Gosselin could make like a maligned pop act and try reinventing himself as a star in Britain, Belgium, maybe even Japan. Different cultures have different tastes. While he's trashed in the United States, he could rise to Brad Pitt-status in another nation.
9. Consult for VH1's "Tool Academy." Watch a clip of the show. No further explanation necessary.
10. Hit the big screen and revive the buddy comedy with his real-life pal and fellow famous divorcee, Michael Lohan. Remember "Dumb and Dumber?" Like that, but with Ed Hardy T-shirts instead of pastel-colored prom suits.