Before dissecting the dashing, the disastrous, and the downright diva-licious of the 58th Primetime Emmy Awards, I would be remiss not to send out serious props to my gal pal Debbie Matenopoulos, who not only looked drop dead in red on E!'s live Emmy countdown show, but also gave a big ol' shout-out to The Szish Dish.
So, with a gargantuan glow of almost-famousness under my belt (or under the sash on my Peter Som gown, anyway), let's get to the dish.
Wisteria Lane 'Housewives' M.I.A.?
First, the "Housewives" left me desperate for the fashion "wow" factor on the red carpet. … Where were they?
Did they sneak in the back door? Did they get stuck in traffic? Was there an emergency on Wisteria Lane? Whatever the reason, their presence on the much-hyped carpet was missed -- and, admittedly, more than mildly irritating.
Lack of nominations aside, these leading ladies (Marcia Cross, Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria and Nicollette Sheridan) are some of the most sought-after small-screen sirens, and bailing on the red-carpeted runway (and still attending the show) seems like the ultimate faux pas.
This ensemble cast gets my vote for "Biggest Drama Queens." Even if Huffman looked like a bronzed goddess, I will have to disqualify her from the best-dressed race purely for carpet-skipping.
But, for those well-heeled thespians who braved the near 100-degree heat, here's the lowdown on the hot. … And not so hot.
1. Katherine Heigl: The "Grey's Anatomy" star went with vintage Escada. Katherine has arrived! In the spirit of modern Hollywood screen sirens Charlize Theron, Marilyn Monroe, Scarlett Johansson and, dare I say, Jessica Simpson, Katherine has finally found her niche -- and her "look." The hair, the dress (A++ for a perfect fit), the makeup, the simple jewelry all added up to style icon. Welcome to the party.
2. Sandra Oh: Always ahead of the curve, but never a slave to fashion, Sandra always gets it just right. The feminine, yet subtle frills on the straps of her Vera Wang ensemble will, mark my words, be a trend that will be translated in the coming months.
3. Portia de Rossi: An under-the-radar fashion icon, wearing the designer of the moment, Zac Posen.
4. Evangeline Lilly: This "Lost" actress is coming into her own. She was right on with her Versace strapless, eggplant dress (the color of the moment) and her simple hair and minimal jewelry were right on target
1. Debra Messing: Her Alberta Ferretti white strapless tiered gown looked a bit sloppy, didn't look like a winner. ... And, well, it just echoed what happened to her bid for one last run for Emmy glory as Grace Adler.
2. Ellen Pompeo: Her eggplant velvet John Galliano for Dior strapless number was the right color (purple hues were huge), but the fabric wasn't befitting of the season. It's summer! It's hot! Velvet is a fall fabric and, as even Ellen admitted, she was overheating in the gown. The necklace was too matronly and too old-fashioned (and not in a cool vintage way). And her hair extensions were not only messy, but too reminiscent of Gwyneth Paltrow's locks in the '90s. Ellen could be the "it girl" of the moment. She just needs to start dressing in character.
3. Heidi Klum: She may always be pregnant -- the supermodel is expecting her third child and says she expects to have a lot more -- but it seems she always wears the same dress, albeit in different colors. This fashionista needs to mix it up a bit.
1. Vanessa Minnillo: The "Entertainment Tonight" correspondent (who's dating Nick Lachey) could've been mistaken for a beauty pageant castoff. I say, "Makeover!"
2. Cheryl Hines: Larry David's TV wife looked like she was wearing a figure skating costume (check out the back detail).
Red Carpet Notes
Best-Looking Blasts From the Past: Heather Locklear and Jaclyn Smith
Best-Dressed Men: Patrick Dempsey and Jeremy Piven. Somehow Jeremy pulled off the ascot. I don't recommend trying this at home, but this Emmy winner made it work.
Worst-Dressed Man: Denis Leary. Please, no more black shirts with black jackets. … And I'm not going to dwell on the fire-engine red tie. Perhaps it was just a plug for "Rescue Me."