Excerpt: 'You: Being Beautiful' on the Biology of Sex

Take advantage of pheromones: Capitalize on those scents by exposing yourself to them: Research shows that the scents of lemons, doughnuts, and licorice increase penile blood flow (necessary for men to achieve an erection).

Don't eat the doughnuts (that slows blood flow dilation down); just smell. For women, it's licorice and cucumbers.

Why? For women, the phallic shape subconsciously plays a large part in that. Another good one to smell for its pheromone effect: baby powder. It makes the female partner think of the evolutionary goal of sex, at least subconsciously.

Strengthen the sperm: If your goal is to consummate your attraction with reproduction, then you should also supplement yourself with zinc, selenium, folic acid, and vitamins C and E, which have been shown to increase sperm count. But most important is DHA-omega- 3 fats—the active ingredient in fish oil that can be obtained in even more purified form from the algae they eat.

Go back to that sauce: Chocolate has long been considered a love drug, because some of the ingredients* have a feel-good effect.

One study also shows that caffeine may have a positive effect on female libido.

Get Your Drive Back

If you feel as if you've lost some of your sex drive, try these tactics for restoring some of your long-lost libido:

Check out our battery of tests from chapter 6. A change in hormones or energy levels could be a primary driver.

Ask yourself what happened in your relationship when you noticed your sex drive changing. If you can ID the out-of-bed problem, it can help lead to an in-bed solution.

If you're suffering from some kind of vaginal pain (see chapter 7), some strengthening exercises (called Kegels) may help, depending on the issue.

Experiment with more oral sex, fantasies, or watching each other in videos or in real life.

Change things up to charge things up.

Phenylethylamine, tryptophan, and anandamide.

Get comfortable with yourself. You can try to reboot your system by experimenting with your body and finding what brings you joy (for instance, many women like the shaft of their clitorises stimulated, rather than the tip, so you need to be able to communicate that to your partner). Get comfortable with the fact that a mirror, sex toys, and locked doors can be a healthy part of a solo experience that can energize your sex life with your partner.

Check Your Waist

Fat doesn't just make it hard for you to see your organs. It also makes it hard for them to function, which is why increasing waist size means decreasing libido. One of the reasons why men lose libido: omental fat (fat around the belly). That omental fat converts testosterone to estrogen and thus diminishes sex drive.

So if you're experiencing a loss of sex drive, a doc may first check the size of your testes (they should be roughly a ratio of 11/2 inches height to 1 inch width, or three finger widths by two finger widths). If they're normal size, it could mean that omental fat is causing the testosterone drop. While you're losing the belly fat, a medication called clomiphene, which blocks the conversion from testosterone to estrogen, may help.

If you want to keep your libido (or get it back), get your waist size to less than half your height.

Go All Lombardi on Him

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