If you have a bully for a boss, you're among the many people who probably dread going to work every day.
The bullying can come in many forms, and from bosses who have their own unique style of bringing the pain.
Some supervisors love to yell and scream, while others revel in humiliating their employees. Some workers also say that their bosses have schemed behind their backs to undermine their performance.
The Screamer: Sadly, at one point, we've all worked for or with a screamer. Excessive yelling definitely makes for a toxic work environment. This type of boss doesn't need a reason to yell. It's just his or her style to scream at will.
Walk Away: Best solution is to stand up for yourself by walking away from a tirade. Bullies only scream at people they perceive to be weak -- people who'll easily take it. As a kid, you may have had to sit still and take it from a parent, but not so at work. Refuse to subject yourself by walking away, going to the restroom, grabbing a cup of water, stepping outside. This is especially helpful if you're on the verge of getting emotional, which you don't want to do. Above all, remember that when you do nothing, when you just sit there and take it, you're giving the bully permission to continue. By doing nothing, you're saying, "This is OK," even though it's not.
The Demeaner: The demeaner makes humiliating comments -- "You're such an idiot." "Could you be any dumber?" "My kids could do this better and faster than you any day." This person also uses humiliating gestures -- rolling their eyes, using their hands dismissingly. This kind of toxic boss might also laugh at your ideas to belittle you.
This kind of boss is particularly vexing because one of the most important characteristics that drives our excellence at work is our confidence in ourselves and our abilities. When we're demeaned, we naturally second-guess ourselves and our worth. That means we don't perform our best work. So it's counterproductive for the boss to treat people this way on the job, even though he or she doesn't see it.
Confront Calmly: If you work for a small business, there isn't an HR department to complain to about this, which means it's up to you to tackle it directly with the boss. Sit down with the boss and tell him or her that you're very proud of your skills and abilities and you're especially proud of the results you generate in this role -- and you know the company does good work. But you're curious as to why someone who is so successful would resort to bully tactics when it accomplishes nothing. Make it clear that you don't mind constructive criticism but when you do X, Y, Z, it's not conducive to performing at your very best. If you go this route, make sure you share very specific examples. Instead of asking, "Why are you a bully?" say, "When you laugh at my ideas, call me this name, and compare me to your kids -- like you did on these four occasions -- those specific actions and comments prevent me from giving you and this company my absolute best. And I want very much to over-deliver for you, so I'd respectfully request that you stop doing this." Stick just to facts delivered in a reasoned manner.