Goldberg says he's seen "a lot of rectal foreign bodies," citing one case in which a man had to be brought to the hospital by his mother after a screwdriver became lodged in his rectum during a sexual act.
Penile fractures, like the one Smolinski's boyfriend may have sustained, are notorious copulation catastrophes, and ones that can cause permanent damage.
One patient of Goldberg's, a man in his sixties, suffered a fracture when he fell down while masturbating in an attempt to rush to the door to lock it when he heard his mother trying to get in.
Penile fractures are not actually fractures so much as tears in the tissue of the penis, Herbenick says. They occur when the erect penis is bent forcefully; there may be a popping or cracking sound.
Women don't escape the wrath of a romantic evening gone bad, says Dr. Gabe Wilson, associate medical director of St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital in New York. He had one woman who came in because her partner had performed oral sex on her too quickly after eating a spicy meal, and she sustained mild burns from the hot sauce.
Lost condoms are a more common affliction for women, Goldberg says, though one that is easily remedied.
These sexual hazards give new meaning to a desire for "safe sex," but does this mean that protection has to take the form of knee pads and a helmet?
Most of the safety tips are just common sense, says Dr. Mache Seibel, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Massachusetts Medical school.
"If anything causes discomfort it should be discontinued," he says. "Just because something is supposed to be 'fun,' doesn't mean it works for you."
It's also wise not to push yourself past your own level of flexibility or cardiovascular health, Seibel says.
"Some people can't touch their toes…or have been advised by a doctor not to raise the heart rate [following a heart attack or stroke], so when it starts to get physical or acrobatic, they will have a problem."
Herbenick echoes this sentiment, noting that stretching isn't a bad idea if you're injury prone, and it may be wise to clear the area of pointy objects and keep lit candles a good distance from you.
Also, "keep pets out of the room," she say, citing a recent study she conducted on the subject. Cats have been known to jump on the bed and "scratch at genitals" when they see their owners getting frisky.
Ideally, with a little common sense, and maybe a little warmup, your romantic evening will stay between you and your loved one -- no medical intervention required.