I Do Not Enjoy Sex With My Partner. What Do I Say to Help Improve our Bedroom Encounters?

Question: I love my significant other and I enjoy sex, but I don't enjoy sex with my partner. How can I improve our bedroom encounters, and what do I say to him/her to broach the topic?

Answer: That is an important issue and one that is definitely worth tackling. If you want to tackle this issue then you have to do it really carefully. There's nothing that makes a person feel more vulnerable than for you to give them negative feedback on themselves and their sexual selves. So the way to do it is actually to plan ahead. And don't just spring this on the person. You do some homework yourself.

Think about some of things that go right sexually and make yourself a list of some good feedback you can give that person about things they do in general: how they look, ways they touch you that you like, ways they smell, ways they taste -- so that you have a list of some nice things to say to them. Because that's the spoonful of sugar that's going to make the medicine go down.


More Questions on Love, Sex and Relationships

Then, make a specific time to talk to them. Give them first all that nice feedback and then ask them for one small thing that they could change and if it's something like: this is how I'd like you to kiss me, or this is how I'd like you to touch me -- show them and actually practice.

And make a time to do that and just try and get that one little change. And if it happens give them good feedback and set it aside for the next time. And that's the start, it's a process.


Have more questions on sex, love, relationships or other wellness topics? Visit the ABCNews.com OnCall+ Wellness Center to get your answers.

-- This embed didnt make it to copy for story id = 6869961. -- This embed didnt make it to copy for story id = 6869961. -- This embed didnt make it to copy for story id = 6869961.
Join the Discussion
You are using an outdated version of Internet Explorer. Please click here to upgrade your browser in order to comment.
blog comments powered by Disqus
You Might Also Like...
See It, Share It
PHOTO: The fake baby a man was carrying as he and another woman tried to sneak into the mother and baby unit at Mercy Medical Center in Merced, Calif., hospital officials said.
Dignity Health Security/Mercy Medical Center Merced
Leopard Cub Chills in a Basket
Odd Anderson/AFP/Getty Images
PHOTO: U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers at the George Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston stopped a would be smuggler from bringing nearly 7 ounces of cocaine into the country in tamales, Aug. 22, 2014.
U.S. Customs and Border Protection
PHOTO: Giant panda Bao Bao celebrates her first birthday at the Smithsonians National Zoo, Aug. 23, 2014.
David Galen, Smithsonians National Zoo