When Newt Gingrich officially suspends his campaign today – a full seven days after confirming he would drop out - his campaign obituaries will already be written, his candidate highlight reels will already be played and Comedy Central will have already published a book spoofing his nomination bid.
"Goodnight Moon Colony," a seven-page picture book based off the popular children's story "Goodnight Moon," twists some Gingrich's most infamous moments into seven sentence-long punch lines, commemorating a campaign that was rife with outlandish ideas and heated exchanges.
"Our storybook farewell to Newt Gingrich's campaign," reads the introduction to the book's online edition, posted to the Comedy Central blog Wednesday morning. "Which we'll always remember for its nuanced policy positions and bold vision of... ah, screw it. We'll remember the moon colony thing."
If Gingrich's presidential campaign were a comedic children's book, here's what it would look like.
|Goodnight, Food Stamp President|
One of Gingrich's go-to criticisms of President Obama was that he was a "food stamp president." In many of his stump speeches, the former House speaker gave voters a choice between the "greatest food stamp president" in history, and a "paycheck president," which he promised to be as a job creator.
|Goodnight, Dirty Unwashed Occupy Wall Street Protestors|
Occupy Wall Street protestors are many things, but according to Gingrich "decent, responsible citizens" is not one of them. Gingrich was one of the harshest critics of the anti-corporate-greed movement, saying in October that half of the protestors were "left-wing agitators" who "are just out there as activists trash the place and walk off and are proud of having trashed it."
|Goodnight, Poll Numbers Showing Gingrich Will Win|
Five months ago, Gingrich was at the head of GOP nomination pack. Riding high with 35 percent support in December, the former House speaker earned himself the title of "front runner" and declared to ABC's Jake Tapper, "I am going to be the nominee."
That perch at the top of the polls was short-lived and by February Gingrich's support had plummeted, hovering around 15 percent, never again to rise to its previous frontrunner status.
|Goodnight, Bankrupt Health Care Think Tank|
As Gingrich's campaign floundered around third place in the GOP presidential race, a health care think tank he founded more than a decade ago plunged into bankruptcy in early April.
With its star consultant out on the campaign trail, Gingrich's Center for Health Transformation went out of business with between $1 million and $10 million in debt.
|Goodnight John King's Gotcha Journalism'|
In one of the most heated moments of any presidential debate this cycle, Gingrich – who is notorious for criticizing the media - lambasted CNN's John King for opening with a question about Gingrich's ex-wife's accusation that the presidential candidate had asked her for an open marriage.
"The destructive, vicious, negative nature of much of the news media makes it harder to govern this country, harder to attract decent people to run for public office, and I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that," Gingrich said to a near standing ovation.
|Goodnight, Moon Colony|
It's not every day that a presidential candidate lists building colonies on the moon as one of his top policy priorities, but Gingrich unabashedly did just that.
The GOP hopeful vowed that by the end of his second term as president, "we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American."
He also promised frequent flights to Mars by 2020.