WASHINGTON--Jimmy Kimmel and President Obama roasted the Secret Service, Washington's political and media elite--and each other--at the 98th annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner on Saturday night at the Washington Hilton.
During his speech, Obama took a jab at the now-infamous Summit of the Americas earlier this month which sparked the Secret Service sex scandal. "Four years ago, I was locked in a primary battle with Hillary Clinton," Obama said. "Four years later, she won't stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena."
"Jimmy got his start on 'The Man Show,'" Obama noted. "In Washington, that's what we call a Congressional hearing on contraception."
Last year's dinner occurred on the eve of Osama bin Laden's killing, and the anniversary was on the minds of many attendees.
"Who will it be this year?" Kimmel joked. (The Navy SEALs, he said, should focus on the Kardashians.)
"We finally delivered justice to one of world's most notorious individuals," Obama recalled as an image of Donald Trump appeared on a screen in the ballroom.
The president also made several jokes about his increasingly gray hair, saying in four years he'll look like Morgan Freeman. "That's not even funny," Obama said, laughing.
Obama took a few mild swipes at his likely opponent in November. "It's great to be here in the vast, magnificent Hilton ballroom," Obama said. "Or what Mitt Romney would call 'a little fixer upper.'" ("I was just relieved to learn this one wasn't a GSA conference," Obama said, pivoting briefly to that controversy. "Unbelievable--not even the mind-reader knew what they were thinking."
"We both have degrees from Harvard," he continued. "I have one, he has two--what a snob."
Obama also looked ahead to the next four years. "In the first term I sang Al Green," he said. "In my second term, I'm going with Young Jeezy." (First Lady Michelle Obama nodded in approval.)
"I have a lot of Secret Service jokes," Kimmel said. "I told them for $800 I wouldn't tell them, but they only offered 30."
Kimmel pointed to Sofia Vergara, one of a swarm of celebrities in attendance.
"This is what women look like in Colombia," Kimmel said. "What's the Secret Service supposed to do?"
He added: "If this had happened on President Clinton's watch, those Secret Service agents would've been disciplined with a very serious high-five."
Kimmel, host of ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live," reflected on his path to entertaining the president: "If you told me as a kid I'd be standing on the dais with President Barack Obama, I would've said, 'The president's name is Barack Obama?'"
He also took a swipe at Obama's weight. "This is how you know things are bad," Kimmel said. "Our president is starving. North korea is sending him food aid."
Speaking of weight, the comedian also skewered the other end of the spectrum.
"Look, it's Chris Christie," Kimmel told the first lady. "Get him!"
"Gov. Christie, you may be misunderstanding the New Jersey slogan," he added. "It's not the 'Olive Garden State.'"
Yahoo's coverage of the White House Correspondents' Dinner:
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