Oh, snap! Football's getting crazy fast

But don't take my word for it, check the 2014 NBA draft first round. Philadelphia had two lottery-level choices. The Sixers exercised them on Joel Embiid, who because of injury may not take the court next season, and Dario Saric, a Croatian player who because of a contract obligation is unlikely to join the NBA before 2016. Later the Sixers used second-round choices on Serbian players Vasilije Micic and Nemanja Dangubic, both of whom are unlikely to perform in the NBA next season for contract reasons.

Thus, the 76ers are guaranteed more losing while claiming a bright future is somewhere in the distance. At the NBA job of lowering expectations, the 76ers are Zen masters! Philadelphia reacted angrily to a possible NBA move to make deliberately losing less likely to result in a top draft pick. The 76ers have spent years setting themselves up to deliberately lose!

NBA clubs continue to follow the draft-tanking strategy -- Boston, Milwaukee, Orlando and Philadelphia tried to lose as many games as possible last season -- despise evidence that going all-out to stockpile top draft picks doesn't work. The conundrum is that if expectations are set high, an NBA team is likely to fail. If expectations are set low, well, anybody can aim low. Following this past season's losing record, the Timberwolves set next season's expectations low from the get-go by selling two 2014 draft picks for cash.

Tuesday Morning Quarterback Sportsman of the Year: Byron Mullens, who was on the Bobcats for their 23-loss skid, then on the 76ers for 26 straight losses. My Person of the Year is Raymond Burse, president of Kentucky State University, who lowered his own salary so that hourly workers could make a living wage.

"I See a Tarot of the Lovers ... No Wait, of the Swords ... There Is Red on the Card ... Hey, That's My Blood" Zagorka Jovanovic, "one of Germany's most famous fortune tellers," was stabbed by a client's ex-boyfriend whose actions she did not foresee.

Hi, You've Reached the Swiss Air Force. No One Can Take Your Call. If You Are Planning to Invade, Please Do So During Regular Business Hours: Agence France-Presse reported, "No Swiss fighter jets were scrambled when an Ethiopian Airlines co-pilot hijacked his own plane and forced it to land in Geneva, because this happened outside business hours. Swiss Air Force spokesman Laurent Savary told AFP the Swiss Air Force is only available on weekdays from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m."

Hi, You've Reached the Indian Air Force. Your Call Is Very Important to Us. If You Are Planning to Invade, Please Notify Us by Mail So We Know to Turn the Warning Radars On: During the search for Malaysian Flight 370, Reuters reported that India usually leaves its early-warning air defense radars turned off.

Annual Swimsuit Issue Count: This year's Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue offered -- counting editorial content only, and indicating trend versus last year's issue -- 185 pictures of stunning women in bikinis (36 percent increase), 45 photographs of topless models with hands or other items strategically placed (29 percent increase), 27 photos of women in only body paint (69 percent increase). Two beach numbers were worn by Barbie, who at age 55 became the oldest Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Advertising added 28 more photos of women in bikinis, 10 more of women topless and three beefcake photos of buff men.

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