It's getting to the point where everybody--everybody--has a Facebook page.
Well, not everybody. In fact some very important people--personages who undoubtedly would have very interesting pages--are nowhere to be found on Facebook. Some of them are just too dead to get the job done--though you don't have to be a human being to have a Facebook page.
As a result, by today's standards, the record on these people is incomplete (no Twitter trail? no Facebook bio?). Nor do we know how they would've behaved on Facebook: Would John have defriended Ringo after the Beatles broke up? Would Joan of Arc have continued updating her status right up until the fateful moment of incineration (Joan of Arc "is (whew!) burning up" at 9:40am May 30, 1431)?
So in the interest of posterity and history and stuff, we have carefully approximated what those missing pages might look like. We've included both important figures from history and people who are still kicking, but not on Facebook.
We hope you enjoy them--and maybe even learn a thing or two. And we know you'll be tempted, but don't click the Add Friend link on the pages--they're just static mockups, and anyway Steve Jobs doesn't know you.
Simply scroll through the list below, and click on the profile picture of the person whose Facebook page you want to view.
Steve Jobs just finished building a chair out of iPhones.
Bill Gates just bought Azerbaijan!
Elvis Presley just stepped on his own blue suede shoes. Dammit.
Andy Warhol is looking for another 15 minutes.
Satan just signed the Jonas Brothers to a 3000-year deal.
Rush Limbaugh is keeping the fear alive!
Hillary Clinton is not bitter. Is not bitter. Is not bitter.
Dr. Manhattan is blue.
William Shakespeare is all about the new Beverly Hills 90210.
About the Creators:
is an actor and comedian from Los Angeles, California.
is a comic from Los Angeles, California.
is a graphic designer from Los Angeles, California.
Mark Sullivan is an editor at PC World in San Francisco, California.