Love and Heartbreak on Facebook

May 20, 2008— -- The highlights of a romance were once trumpeted by the presence of a ring, a ceremony and a joyful notice in the newspaper.

And the bitter lowlights were usually endured in the tearful intimacy of close friends.

These days, however, in a culture permeated by social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook, a simple click of a button can mark the beginning and end of a relationship.

With an apparently dwindling desire and expectation for privacy, people increasingly indicate their "relationship status" on their social networking profile. The risky business of managing a romance is played out before hundreds of "friends," who may range from childhood pals to complete strangers.

That simple little button declaring romantic standing can also complicate existing relationships. These days, one half of a couple may lean on the other to change his or her relationship status to make a digital commitment.

Spencer Raymond, 26, recounts his "crappy" experience.

Raymond says that when he changed his Facebook status to single, he inadvertently hurt his ex-girlfriend. She was barraged with phone calls from several of his 400 friends, an experience he says was uncomfortable for both of them.

"Relationships are hard as it is," says Raymond. Facebook just "adds to the pain of a sensitive situation."

Jamie Barone, however, is quite comfortable publicizing his relationship status online. He lives with and plans to marry his girlfriend, whom he has been dating for 15 months.

About a year ago, as Barone's relationship became serious, he had a discussion with his girlfriend about changing their relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship" on their Facebook profiles.

Why bother getting into that sort of detail on Facebook? While Barone, 28 , hesitates to attach too much importance to Facebook, he says that specifying relationship status is "somewhat meaningful."

"Those things are your billboard," he says. "What you put up there is a reflection of what is going on in your life."

Barone doesn't concern himself with others' disdain of the public testament of his affection. If anyone finds it intrusive or silly, "it's their problem," he says.