FUNNIES: Are You Donald Rumsfeld?

A roundup of the late-night comics.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: And President Bush accepted the resignation of U.N. Ambassador John Bolton. Bolton said he didn't want to leave, but when you have no nations that are united, you don't need an ambassador, basically.

The Tonight Show

Leno: And in New York City, Hillary Clinton spoke to the Democratic Party faithful, the faithful. So apparently Bill was not there. I guess he must have been out.

Late Night

Conan O'Brien: The Iraq Study Group was released as a book yesterday. Today it's number two on Amazon's best seller list. Yeah, yeah. Publishing insiders are already calling it the "Tuesdays with Morrie" of bipartisan commission findings.

The Tonight Show

Leno: We had Barack Obama on the show Friday night. People pretty excited about this guy, a lot of excitement. Well, you know what's interesting? They say Hillary Clinton's starting to get a little paranoid about this, 'cause a lot of Democratic Party leaders are getting behind Barack Obama's bid for the presidency. Hillary's worried it might be part of a vast left-wing conspiracy.

The Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert: Speaking of Donald Rumsfeld: Today was the first and only day of confirmation hearings for his replacement, Robert Gates. As you know, I'm a huge fan of confirmation hearings. No one loves listening to senators talk more than me, except maybe them. But this one was kind of boring. The committee immediately confirmed the guy. They really only had one question: "Are you now, or have you ever been, Donald Rumsfeld?"

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: Yes, whether Gates was addressing Sen. McCain, Sen. Warner, or this kindly old shoemaker, everybody came away impressed.

Sen. John Warner, R-Va [at confirmation hearing]: We're all very impressed with the candor and forthrightness that you've expressed this morning.

Jon Stewart: You had us at, "We're losing."

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