Funnies: Dust Off 'Mission Accomplished'

A roundup of the late-night comics.

The Late Late Show

Craig Ferguson: Wednesday, President Bush announced the troop surge. I don't think 20,000 more troops will end the fight between Trump and Rosie, but do what you think…

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: President Bush [is] not feeling well today. Experts say it might be something that didn't agree with him. Like most of America.

Late Show

David Letterman: Earlier tonight, ladies and gentlemen, there was a big policy address from President Bush about the war in Iraq, and President Bush revealed his new strategy for that war. So, ladies and gentlemen, time to dust off the old "Mission Accomplished" banner.

The Tonight Show

Leno: And 2006 has been declared the hottest year on record. And today, Al Gore went, "Yes! I mean, that's awful."

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: In recent days, the United States has shelled al Qaeda operatives in the East African nation of Somalia. … The operations targeted the alleged mastermind of the U.S. embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania nine years ago. So Osama Bin Laden, come 2010, you've got problems, mister. We're coming to get you.

Late Night

Conan O'Brien: Yesterday, Al Sharpton was asked about running for president, and he said -- this is an exact quote -- "I'm not hearing a lot of meat. When the meat hits the fire, we'll find out if there's some real meat there." Personally, I think it's a shame President Bush can't run again because that would be one hell of a debate.

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