Leno: And I'll tell you, this bird flu is even having an effect on Thanksgiving. Did you see what the folks at Stove Top are doing? Hand me this, I saw it in the store today. This is Stove Top dressing … now with Tamiflu.
O'Brien: Earlier today, Vice President Dick Cheney's former assistant, Scooter Libby, pleaded not guilty to the charges against him. Yeah, the weird thing is since his name is Scooter, he's being tried in juvenile court.
Leno: Hey Kev.
Kevin Eubanks, bandleader: What's up Jay?
Leno: What did "Scooter" Libby say when he bumped into President Bush at the White House?
Eubanks: What's that?
Leno: Pardon me.
Ferguson: How would someone know if they have the bird flu?
Tim Meadows: Well, early symptoms of the bird flu include muscle aches, respiratory problems, and in some cases, going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Leno: Well, a poll in USA Today says 59 percent of Americans are not at all interested that Prince Charles is here visiting. Why should we be interested? Another foreigner without a job coming to America.