If Presidential Candidates Adopted Airline Slogans

Definitely an old slogan. You can see it in a TV ad featuring flight attendants in '80s hairdos and hemlines spouting such lines as, "We know the best trip through the airport is a fast trip through the airport," and asking when was the last time you had a fast trip. Not to mention there's that karma thing again, as American Airlines finished September with an incredible record of 21,000-plus delayed flights (and more than 1,000 canceled flights). Next!

A Passion For Perfection (Lufthansa)

Not bad. But will voters believe anyone running for any public office is in anyway capable of perfection?

Easy Life, Happy Flights (Lucky Air)

That's the current slogan for China's discount carrier, Lucky Air. Easy life? I'd remind the candidates to beware of making promises you cannot keep.

When You've Got It, Flaunt It (Braniff)

Both Democrats and Republicans might like to claim this slogan, though it is a bit egotistical -- and therein lies the problem. The "flaunt it" credo, which grew out of a late-'60s advertising campaign, was widely praised -- especially by "Mad Men" types -- but is said to have ultimately backfired as customers grew weary of the bragging because service on Braniff flights started falling off a cliff. The airline flew its last flight in May 1982.

Reliable (KLM)

Very nice. Very dull, too. Next?

We Really Move Our Tail for You (Continental)

This is almost as bad as the old National Airlines series, "I'm Cheryl. Fly Me." Notice that National disappeared back in 1980 when it was acquired by Pan Am, which itself disappeared in 1991. Not a great slogan for anyone, these days.

There is no particular slogan or catchphrase in the new (and excellent) TV ad from Delta, but it does include one line I'd like to see engraved on every airplane: "Never let the rules overrule common sense."

Best line for the candidates? Steal what the pilot always says at the end of a flight: "Thank you for joining us, we know you have a choice."

And if your choice doesn't win, you can always head over to JetBlue (slogan: You above all.). The carrier is running a contest for those who say, "If my guy doesn't win, I'm leaving the country!" Prize: a ticket out of the country.

The opinions expressed by Rick Seaney are his alone and not those of ABC News.

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