State Policies Encourage Healthy Marriages

May 27, 2004 -- About three years into their marriage, Trena and Jon Corless of Oklahoma City weren't communicating. Everyday topics were fine, but when the conversation turned to more serious subjects, a pattern would emerge: Trena would talk — a lot. And Jon wouldn't talk at all.

"I was doing all the talking and all the problem solving on my own," she said, "and he felt he wasn't needed and what he had to say wasn't important."

Through a free program sponsored by the state and taught at their church, the couple learned communication and relationship skills. Things have improved so much since the fall that they're adopting a child.

"I learned to listen," Trena said, "and he learned that it was safe to talk without any kind of fallout — to share his opinions when they differed from mine."

The Corlesses are among an increasing number of couples taking part in healthy marriage programs throughout the nation. And more often, the workshops are being offered with government funds as part of an effort to stem divorce and promote stable families.

Over the last decade, every state has initiated at least one activity or made a policy change designed to strengthen marriage or two-parent families, according to a new study by the Center for Law and Social Policy, a nonprofit research and advocacy group for low-income families.

Government Funds Programs

The activities vary. Some states have instituted commissions and campaigns to study marriage issues. Some have created "covenant marriage laws" in which couples applying for a license opt to attend counseling before marriage or divorce, which can only be obtained upon specific grounds like adultery or abuse.

Others have started relationship and marriage education for high school students and fatherhood programs with co-parenting or marriage components. And in some places, policies have been changed, such as forgiveness of child support arrears upon marriage or reconciliation, the study found.

President Bush has made marriage promotion a priority as well. Through his Healthy Marriage Initiative, first announced in 2002, he hopes to allocate $1.5 billion over five years to promote such programs.