Bruce Feiler's Secrets to Keeping Your Family Happy

Finally tonight, there's a new book about the secrets of a dynamic, loving family. A team, like the winning teams in business, even the special forces. And it turns out, simple little things can make... See More

Finally tonight, there's a new book about the secrets of a dynamic, loving family. A team, like the winning teams in business, even the special forces. And it turns out, simple little things can make all the difference. Abc's juju chang decided to put it to the test. One, two, three -- Reporter: Think of this way. You're not a family. You're a team. Trying to power up every single member. I'll tell you the lesson i learned with my three boys and a special ops commando. Get your legs straight! Reporter: Thanks to bestselling author bruce feiler, who asked high-powered sources to help fix the problems we face in our modern families. Excellent. Take a bow, take a bow. I felt like, as a parent, we were just struck. We were lost. The shrinks, the self-help gurus, the family experts -- those ideas were really stale. Reporter: Harvard conflict negotiators say you have to fight fair, and you can't have a team without a sense of mission, so hold family meetings, and really listen. What didn't work so well with our family this week? Overreacting. Reporter: And prepare to be surprised. What bothers kids the most? Just how stressed out and tired their parents are. Daddy yelling! Reporter: In listening to my own children, I learned their favorite times are not action-packed ski weekend but those quiet moments when we're all just goofing around. And what about money? Again, why not go to the top? Feiler asked warren buffet's bankers about giving an allowance. The number one thing, they say? Don't tie money to doing chores. Chores are what we do to take care of each other. Not to get paid. In fact, study after study shows all of us are more motivated by pulling for the team than by money. Just ask the green berets. The team is only as fast as the slowest person. Reporter: They say top down management doesn't produce as big of a win as making everyone part of the plan. Our plan? A mock drill. Ready for this? Reporter: Ready for this mission? That means team leader, me, should listen to the rank and file. I think we should have the slowest person up front and then -- Reporter: Oh, good idea. Your son felt confident enough to say, "no, I want to do it a different way." And, by the way, he had a really good plan. Reporter: Now, that is mission accomplished. Juju chang, abc news, new york.