intro: If eyes are the windows to the soul, then your social media presence is its doggy door. Sometimes hairy, dirty, stupid things reeking of dead birds escape out of it. After all, what a person shares on, say, Facebook and Twitter reveals a lot about their sense of humor, interests, style, and, in some cases, their penchant for criminal activity.
Case in point: A Pennsylvania man named Frank McKee was heartbroken after his nativity's Jesus figurine was stolen from his yard the day after Christmas. But, cry not for this Pennsylvania man. His story has a happy, stupid ending. As the York Daily Record reports (via The Daily Dot), McKee was "looking over Facebook pages of local people" when he happened upon an image of his stolen Jesus figurine on someone else's account. Police contacted the Facebook user who, along with a juvenile accomplice, had indeed snatched the figurine.
Dumb, yes. And that's only the tip of the big, stupid, publicly accessible iceberg. Here are a few others that should make us all think twice before posting.
quicklist: 1 title: They Crashed, Then Shared text: The couple Tareq and Michaele Salahi crashed the White House state dinner (at the time they were filming Bravo's ill-fated Real Housewives of D.C.) made the mistake of posting pictures of their night out on Facebook. Most adults know it's technically a crime to crash "that party," right?
Whatever the case, The Washington Post published news of their ill-advised outing soon after.
quicklist: 2 title: He Didn't Log Out text: When breaking into someone's home, it is best not to sit down at their computer, log on to your Facebook account, and then proceed to leave your account open after fleeing their home with stolen loot. That is, unless -- like 19-year-old Mensa genius Jonathan G. Parker -- you'd like to end up on various "dumb criminal" lists.
quicklist: 3 title: Consider the GPS text: Pictures of cleavage and online taunts are both fine additions when gloating about one's hacking activities, but take care when posting these sort of things to Twitter, lest you unwittingly provide authorities with GPS data leading to your home.
quicklist: 4 title: A Social Confrontation text: Alleged rapist Dustin McCombs, taking umbrage at being named Jefferson County's "Creep of the Week," decided to confront the authorities on Facebook. "[A]nd good thing i moved out of state [sic]," he wrote, prompting the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office to inform him, also via Facebook, that his warrant "calls for nationwide extradition." McCombs continued on, despite the Sheriff's Office continued reminders (and, later, demand) that he make use of his right to remain silent.
quicklist: 5 title: Video Evidence text: When confessing to car theft and bank robbery on YouTube, be sure to let viewers know how much you love Green Day. They'll appreciate that personal touch.
quicklist: 6 title: Tom Haverford text: I mean, really.