The Strokes' New Album: The Best, Worst, and Weirdest Songs

March 29. 2013— -- The Strokes' 5th album,"Comedown Machine," came out this week. Oh, you didn't notice? Neither did we.

Wait. Let me start this again. I love The Strokes. I giggle on the inside every time I see Julian or Fabrizio in a bar in New York. My best friend just texted me to inform me she sat Fabrizio down at his table at the restaurant where she works in the East Village. I got my first speeding ticket on my way to their concert a month after I got my license. I'm usually really excited by their existence.

I loved "Little Joy", and I enjoyed Julian Casablancas' solo stuff. But I can't remember the last time I liked a Strokes "new" song... and their new album is not an exception. It has this '80s vibe (as you can tell by the album cover) which works for some songs, but doesn't work for most. Here are the best, worst, and weirdest songs from their new album.

BEST: "Chances"

An all-around great song. I'm a sucker for a pretty melody and high-pitched male voices and this song has both. It makes me want to slow dance with my boo in a high school gym after prom when all the pink balloons are deflated and floating around us -- I told you it has an '80s vibe.

WORST: "All The Time"

This song sounds like a cluster of all the "Room On Fire" songs crumbled into one. It's not bad; it's just not creative at all. C'mon guys. I feel like I've heard this song 3-5 times on every album since "Room On Fire."

WEIRDEST: "Partners In Crime"

What is that faux-metal guitar intro? I don't hate it. I definitely don't love it. It's just weird.

But to end on a high note: Every time I've seen The Strokes perform I end up tired, hungry, sweaty, sore, and deaf. All the signs of an awesome concert -- and one of the few bands who continues to kill it live.

Now, let's put that energy into the next brainstorming session where you all sit around looking awesome wearing leather jackets and plan your follow-up album. I'll be waiting.